links..
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
When I was at work today, I was listening to the radio and an old Journey song came on. It reminded me of a time when I was in between splitting up with Tony and getting back together with him. I was living with Kevin at the time and we had driven into Aylmer, or we may have been involved in a poker run, I don’t really remember. But anyway, we ended up in this hotel or legion, I think it was a hotel and there was a dj. This song came on and it was one of my favourites and he asked me to dance. At the time I thought that was romantic because he knew that it was one of my favourite songs at the time and he led me to believe that he had requested it for that reason. He later told me, when he was drunk, that he had never requested the song in the first place.
I'm sure you're wondering why I am telling you this story. The other day you said you found it sad (not in a pathetic way) that no one had ever done anything for my birthday. I have never expected anyone to do anything for my birthday, or for any other day for that matter so when someone does something incredibly simple, like request a song that I like (bad example cause he never really even did it) but in that way, I am touched that they would even remember that I am not just someone who is there to do things for them. Tony would try, but ultimately, it was me who made the plans for my birthday and it was always somewhere that I knew he would enjoy, (like the top of the fair so he could be at the races) rather than pick somewhere that was just for me. Some of this doesn't sound the way that I want it to but I'm confident that you will understand what I mean. I grew up without birthday parties, and the only one that I did have for my 16th birthday was probably the reason that I took both of my girls away for their 16th birthday rather than allowing their friends, or myself to throw them a “sweet 16 “ party. It’s a recipe for disaster and I know that from my own experience as well as the experiences of my friends and Joanna’s friends.
So anyway, to get to the point in my round about way, when you spent so much time and energy and put so much thought into doing something for my birthday that you knew that I would like, it really was the nicest thing that anyone has done for me. Ever. I just want you to know how much it means to me and how much I love you for it and every other time that you do something that shows me how much I really do matter to you and how often really, that you put what I might want ahead of your own needs.
I know that sometimes I tend to make more out of something than what is really there. I sometimes go back and read what I have written and I realize that I am making mountains out of molehills and for that, I apologize. I am not worried about us really, I have the utmost faith in our love and really, even more so in our underlying friendship. It’s what has gotten us this far.
I look forward to every moment in the future that I will spend with you. I love you Marco Toso
10:01 PM Karen