links..
Monday, June 07, 2004
Okay, now that I have put meaningless things in the other blog for all the world (or those who choose) to see, I should spend some time putting the real events in my life in this one.
I really wanted to see you yesterday to talk to you about the newest developement in the saga of my life, but alas that was not to be. It's okay, it wasn't like it was something that couldn't wait, but you've become my confidante and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else and have them understand because no one knows the background behind it all and it would take far too long to explain. Not only that but as it involves my family, so it's a matter of appearances and trust.
I'm sure you're curious now. Well my plan for Joanna and Rachel to move in together, leaving me the apartment for myself (and you) kind of took a wrong turn. Joanna asked me if she can move in with Rachel and I for a while. Stop laughing... She wants to move out west but needs to save money so that she can and she would help pay bills while she is here. I said stop laughing... :). The problem being, first you know I cannot say no to her. Second, Rachel agreed with her moving in (to her) because she was sure that I would say no. So the peace treaty is that Rachel gets to keep her own room - that's her biggest beef, that she doesn't want to share the room with Joanna, which means that I would have to share with Joanna. Which means that Rachel and I would have to switch rooms because hers is the biggest room and the only one that would fit 2 beds. Long term (and I may be being really presumptuous here) When you get your own house, if I stay over, then Joanna has the big room (rachel's room) to herself and Rachel is in the smaller room. Not a good scenario. Second problem. If Joanna and I share a room, there is no way that you will ever feel comfortable in my bed with Joanna's bed in the same room, nor will I feel comfortable. So, I have no idea what to do! Any suggestions or feedback would be appreciated, but please don't say I should tell her she can't move in. I don't think I could do that.
No on to something else that kind of bothered me. You know that I will put anything in here that I don't feel comfortable saying to you. It kind of bothered me that you felt slighted (?) when you didn't see any reference to you in Joanna's list. Obviously it still matters to you what she thinks or thought about what you think you had, but really, did you expect to see yourself there? And if you did, how would you have wanted her to reference it? Did you want to be the "one that got away" and she regretted having dumped you? Also, do you not think it would have had repercussions on us if she had mentioned you? Most people don't know it happened and the ones who do, think it was nothing except that you were friends. One more thing, the only thing that would bother me more than the fact that you are still thinking about it would be that she was still thinking about it. So now I've had my say and I will once again push to the back of my mind, the fact that you had anything other than friendship with my daughter.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry about any of this, it just concerns me sometimes and you know that eventually I have to say what's on my mind (or type as the case may be).
Anyway, I really should be doing something more productive...
10:24 AM Karen