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Monday, July 07, 2003
If there is such a place as heaven, I got a small glimpse of it this weekend and it involved two of my favourite things, the beach and you.
When we went to Port Stanley on Thursday night for a walk on the beach, it was unlike any other time I have ever been there. You are probably the most amazing person I know. You know me so well and sense my fears, even the unspoken ones and I know you will always be there for me. I sense it. "you love me more in a minute than anyone could in a lifetime" When we stood on the beach and later by the car, I could feel you touching my soul. You make me feel things so deeply. On a more carnal note, I wish we had been in a more private place, because I would have liked you to bend me over your car hood and taken me right there. Believe me, I was more than ready....
Friday, I will only touch on because it was an evening of miscommunication all the way around. Myself, I was guilty of selfishness and childish behavior and cannot begin to apologize for the impression that I gave that I feel that I should come first above all else, even your own desires. That is not true. Love should not mean dependancy, it means acceptance of the other person, including their independance. The other thing that I need to remember is that passion is not an excuse for sarcasm. But enough about Friday.
So on to Saturday. Perfection is the only way I can describe Saturday with you. I'm glad that I managed to push Friday night aside long enough to realize that I could either have a mediocre Saturday or I could come up with some sort of compromise so that we could salvage as much of it as we could. As it turns out, I think Ipperwash then Grand Bend was even better than our original plan. A more private beach meant less worry about who might see us together, making you more relaxed. Even the rain had a purpose. ;) I meant that we got to eat our lunch in the car, what were you thinking? :) The only way I can think to describe Saturday afternoon was "fun". I can't remember when I have laughed as much as I did that day. Not to mention the compliments from you. You sure know how to feed a girl's ego. It made me glad that I had brought other clothes with me so I could look nice for you. The look in your eyes when you look at me is worth every second that I spend making myself pretty for you. Having you show me Grand Bend meant more to me than you know. It was wonderful having you show it to me through your eyes. Otherwise it would just have been another tourist town. I could have stood forever on the observation deck in the moonlight, with the sound of the water and the sensations your lips were causing on my neck and shoulders. Oh, and by the way, the sex was amazing, but I guess I don't think to write that because it always is. I have to remember never to take that for granted.
The ultimate compliment came yesterday, however, when you said that you liked my voice. It's not something I even think about. I tend to be a little self concious about singing in public places, but in a car, I tend to do it without even realizing it. The last person who told me that I had a nice voice was my grandmother. I was 10. So thank you. For the compliment, for forgiving me when I screw up, for the weekend and especially for showing me what heaven feels like.
8:41 AM Karen